Clearer Eyes.

When I put on my first pair of glasses it was like a small miracle. Suddenly the world that I was so accustomed to seeing one way completely changed. The world became crisp, clear and strangely new.

I was 13 when I found out that for years prior to my fateful appointment I had been looking at the world with failing eyes. For years I had complained to my parents about not being able to clearly see the chalkboard but they never took me seriously. My parents assumed that my complaints were based on an absurb desire to look like all the other kids with glasses and not because I actually couldn't see. When they finally took me they were shocked to find out just how poor my vision actually was.

I can still remember that first day wearing glasses. It really was like the world had been reborn. It was like going from seeing in black and white to looking at a new world filled with vivid colours. My head kept whipping around as I soaked in every distant scene as though I had never before opened my eyes. It was intoxicating and exciting. Up until that time I consistently saw the world as unfocused and blurry. Like a beautiful Monet painting it captured the essence of the things I was seeing but it wasn't an accurate depiction of them.

This past week I took one more step towards clear and unhindered vision and made an appointment for a contact lens fitting. I was a little bit nervous about it at first because poking myself in the eye on purpose is not something that I generally do as a hobby. It turns out that it's actually a lot easier than I imagined and pain actually isn't a part of the process. I spent most of the first day very aware of the foreign body floating on the surface of my eyes and continually attempting to "fix" my glasses.

That same euphoric feeling that accompanied my very first pair of glasses has transitioned to the way I've been looking at the world around me this past week. Suddenly my world is not hindered by frames or scratched glass. I have complete and clear vision no matter how or where I look. I can wear REAL sunglasses. I can style my hair without accomodating a set of frames. I put on makeup for the first time in my life while actually being able to see what I was doing. There is so much freedom and clarity in the way that I am able to see the world while wearing contacts. I feel like a person with normal eyesight.

I've been drinking in everything that I see as though it's all new. This whole new way of viewing the world along with a few timely conversations have made me do a little bit of reflecting.

As a teenager I seriously believed that I had my life figured out. I understood that God had this great plan for me and I believed that it was my job to figure it out so that I could then make it happen. I spent a lot of time trying to do exactly that. I cracked my head against a wall of legalism and religion until I could no longer stand the pain of what I precieved to be constant failure.

I was frustrated, confused, uptight - a mess really - and despite all of my best efforts I just couldn't twist God's arm or tempt him enough to give me exactly what I wanted. Eventually I sat back long enough to realize that nothing I did worked and it really wasn't worth the pain. I got angry and had a real attitude towards God and anything to do with God. I became a heckler and a critic. I read the Bible but the words didn't give me peace like they did when I was a kid, instead they just sunk like a lead ball resting heavily on my mind and making me miserable.

Slowly I started to see that they way I had viewed God for a good part of my youth was actually really twisted. He wasn't at all like I had imagined him to be. I thought that he was conditional and fickle. I was convinced that in order for God to like me, heck, for him to even notice me I had to be working my butt off to please him. I had to be successful, spiritual, mature, and strong all on my own. I had to prove myself to him and earn his favour and his love. And I was trying awfully hard to do exactly that.

Thing is it's actually true that everyone has sinned and fallen short. We are all absolutely DOOMED without grace. Lucky for us that's exactly what God offers. Grace. Forgiveness. A New Start!!!

At that time in my life, just as I'm literally finding out as I view the world through contact lenses, I couldn't truly find a way to see clearly without three things:

1. Someone to point out that my vision has been limited.

2. My own personal realization that I haven't been seeing clearly.  

3. A little bit of help to correct my vision and give me a clearer perspective.

I don't think that this is unique to me. I'm sure that each of us has an area of our lives where we are living with limited vision or understanding. We all need to be challenged with a new way to see things in order to obtain a clearer perspective of life.

So, where is your vision limited?