Surprise!

I have to be honest, 

I don't really like surprises. 

I mean, I usually like the surprise itself - gifts are great - what I don't typically enjoy is the process of "being" surprised. The moment where the blind fold is on or the wrapping paper is still on the package. I feel stupid saying it but those moments leading up to a surprise actually make me kind of nervous and self conscious. 

The what if's and the not knowing makes me feel anxious and worried. And here's where I feel like I may start to sound really stuck up and selfish but I'm trying to be brutally honest so stick with me because there's a spiritual concept that I'm working up to. 

I get really self conscious about whether or not I'm going to like the surprise because I don't want to disappoint the person who went through the work to surprise me. I want to really like the surprise but I also want to go in with no expectations so that I can't be disappointed. 

In short I'm paranoid and I worry too much...

Before you get too worried about me know that it's something that God is working on in my life because God really likes to give gifts. And, honestly, sometimes he hands out some pretty strange ones that just don't make much sense. His ways are not our ways so sometimes the gifts he gives are just not what we would expect from him. 

Tonight I listened to this pod cast from the Gathering in Georgia about the events that take place in Luke chapter 2. The speaker, Mike Paschall, talks about how unexpected it was for everyone that Jesus came into our world as a baby. No one was looking for a baby. How ordinary and odd for GOD to make the decision to send the Messiah not as a conquering hero but as a regular baby with regular looking poor parents. 

The people in the temple that day could have completely missed the significance of what was really going on. Many people there on that day did miss it but one man moved by the Holy Spirit was able to see what he had never expected. That man made the decision to speak life over a regular looking baby in faith trusting that the Holy Spirit and not his human perspective was correct in saying that this child was the long awaited Messiah. 

Mike ended his message by encouraging his audience to ask God to reveal to them the things that he has already placed in their arms. Those things may be unexpected, they may not look the way you think they should but that doesn't mean that they are not from God. And it is our task, through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, to look at the things that God has placed in our arms, acknowledge that they are a gift from God and receive it, speaking life and not death over it. 

The message not only caught my attention it caused me to pause and check out my heart. 

You see on the race I developed this passion to fight human trafficking. I have poured a lot of time and effort into researching, praying and collecting information about it this past year. I know what I want to do; I want to fight human trafficking. I want to fight it here in Canada and I want to go back to Asia to some of the nations I was in previously to fight it there. 

It's a really good dream.

I believe that one day I will pause and realize that I am actually in the middle of accomplishing that dream. But what about today? What about right now? 

My eyes are on anything but what God has placed into my arms right now because the doors opening up to me are not what I had originally expected to see. 

I see homelessness and low income housing. 

I see a call to advocate on behalf of people in my community.

I see the First Nations people.  

I see people with addictions and mental health issues. 

I see the marginalized, the abused and the misunderstood. 

I see youth with no place to go. 

I see the unemployed. 

I see struggling families. 

Human trafficking... Asia... As much as I look down at the bundle God has placed in my arms and squint my eyes if I'm really honest that is not actually what I see right now.

That scares me... it's a surprise that I wasn't expecting and a gift that I am kind of reluctant to receive. What if accepting this gift means I have to give up my other dream? What if choosing to speak like over what is in front of me means I don't get to do what I really want to be a part of doing? What if I never get back to Asia? What if I spend the rest of my life here IN Canada serving the poor and the homeless?

It's not a bad life... but it's also not exactly fighting human trafficking around the world. 

The Bible says that God gives us good gifts. I believe that but when I look down at the very ordinary looking stuff in front of me I can't help but feel doubtful about it and wonder if I'm missing out. But I know that's not right. I know that God gives good gifts and when I look at the doors he opens for me I can walk through them with confidence.

This is where it all comes back around and ties into the previous post about spying out the land. The things that God has for me are good. There is a promised land full of milk and honey that he has set aside as my inheritance. It may not look exactly like I think that it should with my human perspective but I am not called to walk by sight, I am called to walk by faith. 

Even if I don't quite understand the things that God is leading me to I know that I can trust that it will be very good. 

So why not join me?

Open your heart to receive God's gifts (even the surprises!) and begin to walk by faith through the doors he opens for you.